


Be With You

by aya_berry



Category: SB19 (Band)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:47:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28242618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aya_berry/pseuds/aya_berry
Summary: Sick and tired of uncertainties in the relationship, Stell and Sejun think of throwing it all away.A one-shot inspired by The Vamps' "Be With You"
Relationships: Stellvester "Stell" Ajero/John Paulo Nase | Sejun
Kudos: 14





	Be With You

* * *

_Hey lover,_

_I’m questioning our love song,_

_How did we get the words wrong?_

* * *

An overly familiar song plays faintly from the speakers of the café. Enough for the customers from being distracted—even too soft to be heard. But Sejun knows that song too much and heard it almost everyday of his life for the past years that it became too cloying. But then again, it feels so different hearing it now.

> _They said, “I bet they’ll never make it”_

Will they even make it till end?

> _We’re still together, still going strong._

Sejun huffs as he hears the line. Reflecting how the first phrase still stands but the next goes amiss.

How did they end up like this? Not seeing each other for months. Not even talking for weeks. If this happens in the past, they would go irrational. Shouting their lungs out and fight for not having the time to spend together. But then a kiss would automatically make them calm down.

This time it’s just… a normal routine for them.

Their constant rendezvous were a bliss making them feel like the only people in the world. They were crazy for food trips at every new restaurant or food bar openings in the city and nearby places—even travelling far to discover unfrequented locations. They are together for too long to have synchronize expressions when relishing on delicious food and a knowing wordless communication on how unpalatable the dishes served.

This will always be followed with sudden late night drives. Stopping at the middle of every electric post on the empty highway to continue their playful kisses until it becomes too hot and sensual. Forcing them to find a secluded place to park the car and make love at that tiny space. Reaching their own homes at five in the morning, carefully opening the door so nobody will notice they went home late—or should we say early?

It was like there’s no such thing that could ever change the love they were feeling. As they see each other by the end of their own days, and as they talk and rant about the happenings in their own lives made them fall deeper and deeper.

After a few years of their relationship, the rendezvous became less and less until they got no time for it. Even seeing each other was difficult to achieve. Sure, they got busy with their own works, their own lives outside this relationship, but they can even not talk for days. So yeah, _we’re not going strong._

Sejun feels his chest tightening with all these memories flashing through his mind. They are becoming too distant. Too distant that it hurts to know that this relationship is slowly failing. Slowly becoming tiring. And what if one day… there’s nothing left to feel?

Maybe, there would still be feelings left, not just strong enough like before. Not strong enough to continue this wearing cycle of waiting for uncertainties.

Like at this very moment. Sejun looks at his wristwatch that Stell gave him two years ago on their third anniversary. It’s way past seven and he’s more than thirty minutes late. He was surprised that Stell replied to his message and agreed on meeting him tonight. He might have been lucky, huh?

This is the only free time they have on their busy schedules and agreed on meeting after a month of not seeing each other. And Sejun’s becoming too restive. Stell doesn’t come late for their dates. This might mean that he will be stood up again.

He heaved a sigh. His lover was the only one Sejun runs to whenever he has a problem, he kept listening until he kisses it all away. Making him feel better every damn time. But with this happening right now, he feels so lost. Not having a light to this dark road making him prone to crash somewhere hard.

Does his lover still want him for the rest of their lives? Because Sejun doesn’t think so.

Would ending this probably lessen the burden they have? This will hurt too much but he’s sick of feeling all of these.

“I love you, Stell. I’ll wait for another thirty minutes. This will be the last time.” He whispers to himself as he continued waiting. He plugs in his earphones and shuffles his playlist to block his ears from hearing their “love song”.

* * *

_Hey lover,_

_The key’s in the ignition,_

_But nothing’s in the engine._

* * *

Stell curses unceasingly as his car stopped in the middle of the road. He constantly tries to run the engine but fails every time as the car will just start for a second then dies instantly. It’s already seven in the evening and the café is still a thirty-minute ride from here. Probably more because of the traffic.

Why does whenever you’re in haste, phones don’t cooperate? He threw it to the passenger seat as he saw his phone won’t open. He received different calls from clients earlier making it lose its power. He knows Sejun would probably wait for him until the half hour. And he needs to see him now.

Without thinking further, he stepped out of his car and tried hailing for a cab. The rush hour is not helping. Too many people are going home, making it hard to find a transport and the traffic is awfully a sore. But he really needs to see him.

So, he runs and leaves his car.

For the past weeks, Stell thought that maybe… this is the perfect time. To leave and throw all of this. There's little to nothing in keeping this relationship moving forward. It's stuck at some point and it will just make it harder for them to continue if they stay together. That’s what he thinks.

They are together but it doesn’t feel like it. What else could be the reason of staying? Love? Is their love enough? Because Stell doesn’t think so.

He was about to message Sejun but preceded by him also. Sejun wants them to meet. So, he tried to wipe the plates on this night to make time. It was difficult, but he needed to see him.

It feels like they are just waiting for each other on whoever will end this. And this seems to be tonight.

Stell remembers all the things they have done in the past. The first year of their relationship was ecstatic but a bit toxic. They will fight for every trivial detail. But their attraction to each other is too strong that they'll just end up hugging each other. They matured, both mindsets and intimacy for the next years. And it feels like the best moment of their bond.

But the world doesn't only revolve around them. They have separate lives outside their relationship. Sejun was his drive and his energy in starting his day. He’s the most constant thing that happened to him. But with this happening right now, his days were difficult to begin. Being too understanding and mature made them both supportive with whatever they are doing. Until they got no time for each other.

This seems like his fucking car. Maybe their engine reached its designated kilometer to clean and change its oil. No matter how many times he turns his key on the ignition. It won't start because there's something wrong in the engine. If you won’t change its oil, it will show problems in the future. Or maybe… there’s already nothing in the engine?

Did his love for him faded? Stell shook his head. No, this doesn't mean he stopped loving Sejun. He still does. He knows he still does. But it seems like it’s not enough to fuel the engine to start running again. How will they fill the tank with their love if both of them seems tired? If both of them are not doing anything to fill it again? To change and make it work?

Their phone calls became short and too boring. Their "I love you’s” just come out of their mouths accustomedly. They both know there's something wrong. But no one's doing something. Perhaps, no one wants to continue, eh?

* * *

_Hey lover,_

_I'm screaming on the inside,_

_I'm running but I can't hide._

* * *

Ironic how there’s nothing to feel for their relationship but Stell feels a pierce in his heart. Is he really ready to give Sejun up?

He’s still running on the pavement, not minding the questioning looks the people are giving him. Running frees your thoughts, it quietens your mind, they say. You just suddenly forget it and feel the air touching your face. But why can’t he stop thinking?

Perhaps because this feels too nostalgic. Before, they were running side by side. Enjoying the morning breeze by the riverside. Racing their feet on fire till they reach their favorite tree. The one who wins will get to have a kiss from the other. Both favorable for the winner and the loser.

But now… he’s running alone. To him. To probably end this. Stell stopped. Tired and panting hard.

If he’s alone, he would have screamed his lungs out because of the frustration he’s feeling. Sejun will always massage his head and sing him a sweet song to calm him down. But there’s no Sejun right now. What he can only do now is to scream in his mind. _Let me just see him one last time! Let us end this on a good note! Please! Just please!_

Then he continues to run. His heart is beating so fast. But he feels somehow… excited? For what?

To end this? Or to see him after a month?

Stell runs. He knows his heart and mind contradict. So, he runs fast. But he cannot hide the fact, that he misses him.

* * *

_Hey lover,_

_With everything we’ve been through,_

_A fool will only doubt you. And I doubt you._

* * *

A few minutes left. Sejun taps his fingers on the empty mug. He thumbs the print on it displaying the word “doubt” but the letters u, b, and t are crossed out. Do.

Stell does anything to take away his suspicions. He became quite indifferent and have no feelings of jealousy to other people close to his lover because Stell would always do something to make sure he’s the only one. And they have grown to fully trust each other.

With everything they have been through. No, there are no rooms for other people. There are no rooms for doubts.

He’s such a fool if he thinks so. Stell always made him feel loved and complete.

But right now, he’s doubting if Stell still loves him. Did he just stay out of pity? Did he stay thinking that the years they spent together would just be flowing down the drain?

Sejun doesn’t want Stell to feel that way. To feel caged in this already ajar relationship. He is willing to fully open this and let go of him.

But thinking of Stell’s back walking away from him hurts. He knows his mind and heart contradicts. So, he waits and brings his doubts over the back of his mind. He cannot hide the fact that somehow, he still doesn’t want to end this.

* * *

_And just when I’m about to say,_

_I’m sick of you so go away,_

_You do that little thing you always do._

* * *

As Stell closes further to the café, his heart pounds harder. He stopped running as he saw Sejun behind the glass wall of the store. He’s still there.

At the corner, their favorite spot. Looking handsome in his white button-down shirt, he tucks his long hair behind his ear and his earpod shows. He let his hair grow much longer and let it fall down. Sejun always ties it in a half-bun, and he can’t deny how handsome yet pretty he looks right now.

Time seems to stop as Stell stands outside the café staring at Sejun. He missed him. So much.

Sejun lifts his head and sees him. His lover immediately stands up and showed that wide smile making his eyes crinkle. Stell missed this. That smile. It’s a little thing for other people but he loves it. It makes everything feels so warm and right.

How can he think that he’s sick of all of these things happening between him and Sejun? How can he let go of that smile?

Stell feels a warm liquid in his cheek. He touches it and he didn’t know he’s already crying.

* * *

_And just when I’m about to say,_

_It’s time to throw it all away,_

_You look at me the way only you can do._

* * *

It feels like someone is staring at him. So, he looks up and saw Stell standing behind the glass wall. Sejun instantly stands up and can’t help but smile as he saw Stell outside. He came. He’s here.

His steady beating heart goes in chaos. He can clearly see him handsomely catching his breath and his sweat is all over his yellow pullover. He got his hair long and it almost covered his eyes. Where is his eyeglass? _He ran to reach here?_

That gave a pinch in his heart. How can he think of throwing this relationship all away with that look in Stell’s eyes? It’s that same look he gives when making him feel that everything will be alright. It’s that same look in his eyes that will make sure he loves him.

Sejun sees Stell wiping his cheeks. He’s crying and he felt his own tears flow down too. He missed him. So much.

* * *

_And then I know…_

_I gotta wanna, I only wanna,_

_I gotta gotta, I gotta be with you._

* * *

How much did it take toll on them to think of dropping all of these away? Those past months and weeks of no seeing and no talking while having their own busy lives did that. Years of bonded love could have been swept to the bin with no communication happening between them.

It was a wrong decision to prolong it.

It hurts that they doubted their love for each other. But it’s enchanting to know that with one little thing and with one knowing look, they already know how they want to be with each other.

“I want to be with you.”

“Let’s stay together now.”

* * *

_I wanna be with you when the love is right,_

_I wanna be with you even when we fight,_

_I wanna be with you 'til the day we die,_

_I gotta be with you._

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Got this prompt when this song blasted while I'm taking a bath hahahaha. I'm in my "sabaw" moment while writing this, I know it's not that good but I just want to relieve this out of my head. I haven't written something for almost a month, so I wrote this to screw back my thoughts hahaha. If you reach this end note, thank you so, so much for reading!!! Lovelots <3
> 
> If you want to listen Be With You by The Vamps, here's a link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWmA3gnedTg


End file.
